We Revert Back To What We Know

When all else fails we revert to what we know.

My earliest memories are of the inside of the Royal Bank of Canada. I must have been 3 or 4 years old and although it was a very boring place for a preschooler, I do remember the smooth, round lights embedded in the counter at my eye level. They were flat on the outside and the whole thing reminded me of the Flintstones. I watched the Flintstones everyday while eating lunch.

I was at the bank with my Great-Grand-Mother. This is what we did regularly enough for me to still have the memory etched in my mind. Our ritual (that I would later deduce was a monthly one) always ended the same way. She would heft me up to sit on the counter and I would chicken scratch what was supposed to be my name. I’m sure the tellers got a kick out of it and after she would show me the passbook, with it’s numbers created out of little tiny dots and say, “Inga, this is your money.”

Ma, as she was affectionately called, made it clear to me then with each monthly deposit that although the Government called me her foster child I was simply hers and she would not use a penny of that money to raise me.

The money is long gone but the lessons and feeling of excitement when we verbally celebrated as the numbers went up are still with me now. You revert back to what you know.  When things don’t go the way you’d like and the new shiny toy doesn’t satisfy remember that we go back to what is familiar, our soul’s version of comfort food. I am fortunate to have been given the feeling of wealth and the excitement that those tiny numbers conveyed even before I could spell my name.

As I participate in the 36 to Life Challenge I am awakening those preschool feelings. The challenge will focus me on debt elimination and owning 3 real estate properties in the next 3 years and will help me no longer get distracted by the next shiny thing. I am fortunate to have this as my story but even if yours is the polar opposite, I implore you to adopt mine, write a new story or read a book to help you focus on your desired goals.

Revert back to what you want to know.

Sincerely,

Inga O

36 to Life

After a too long hiatus I’m back. I can’t say that I missed writing because my focus was on the daily changes big and small that have kept me away but I always knew I was born to write and so I knew that I was denying a part of me. Well I have taken on the renewed stance of embracing all parts of me. The good, the bad and the ugly as I strive to create the life that I choose to have.

It seems so easy to pin a quote to a wall and use it as a mantra. They say you should start with “I” to internalize it. “I will be the best me possible!” The things I want to document and share here are the challenges, how I over came them and what I did when it was hard to keep focus on the goal. Ah the goal. I have chosen a lofty one to accomplish in the next 36 months. A friend and I are calling it “36 to Life” This is the opposite of going to jail, this is an opportunity to get free for the rest of our lives. For me that means I will obtain the goal of being consumer debt free and own multiple properties with in 3 years. 36 month.

I hope you think about joining in on this challenge. Choose your own lofty goal. Plan for the next 36 months. Comment to share your goal and lets make it happen together!

XOX

Inga O; I thought you should know.

Empowerment Was Earned That Day

 “Not one drop of my self-worth depends on your acceptance of me” Quincy Jones

 

The day I realized that no matter what you do, there will be people who just don’t like you was the day that I set myself free. Prior to that faithful day I was the pleaser. Always wanting everyone to like me and invite me and include me and feeling personally slighted when it didn’t happen. “Why wasn’t I invited?” What did I do wrong?” “How could I have been nicer?“  These questions would swim around my head like angry Piranha gnawing at my brain for days, weeks and sometimes months. I was a hopeless people pleaser and couple that with a mild manner and fear of speaking up and you get an easy target.

I remember the day that all changed well. It was a sunny day and I had on my High School uniform: Blue plaid skirt, crisp white shirt, navy blue socks and black penny loafers; all regulation at the old, all girl private catholic school on the hill. My hair was straightened and blew in the warm breeze. After school I would go the long way to my mother’s hair salon, pass the area guaranteed to have the most boys who looked like me. I was an anomaly at school, one of two Afro-Caribbean girls in a grade level comprising of 3 classes. Was it a coincidence that we were placed in the same class? That fact really didn’t matter because I was alone in the expression of our culture. AS soon as the bell rang I was on the train headed to the part of town none of my school mates would dare venture into. Looking back now through mature eyes and life’s wisdom; I realize that I was an anomaly there too. I couldn’t see it then as I desperately sought acceptance and approval. I wanted to belong. I wanted everyone to like me. I needed to fit in…somewhere. So I did all I could to get others to realize that I was nice/kind/loving/friendly/loyal. And if they didn’t “get it” at first I would just try harder. Make them realize how great I am. Yet, that faithful day as I walked along the cracked sidewalk, pondering God-knows-what I had a moment that Oprah would later coin as “an AHA.” I realized that some boys just wouldn’t like me. Maybe I didn’t fall for them. Sleep with them. Give them something that they wanted. I realized that some girls just wouldn’t like me either. Maybe I had a big bum. Maybe I had hair that was too long. Maybe their boyfriends looked at me in that certain way. It had nothing to do with me.

That faithful day the light bulb went on and I realized that since I can’t please everyone and make them all like me, I may as well stop trying and please myself. Some will, some won’t, so what. I decided to enjoy the company of those who wanted to be around me and wish the others well on their journey. Empowerment was earned that day, as I walked along the crack riddled sidewalk, hair blowing in the wind with a smile on my face.

 

Inga O,

I thought you should know.

Photo credit

Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend Free Tickets

I made a pact with myself and then with my friend Judy O at the end of August that September would be different. September 2014 would mark a new beginning. 2014 is more than half over and it’s time to actually plan to end it with a bang I thought. We decided to have an early lunch and life decided that we “Make a Day of It,”  you can read all about that here.  By the end of that day we knew that we were in it together.

Between that optimistic and eventful start to September and our promises of holding each other accountable, life continued to propel us forward. She called and texted and would have sent smoke signals to let me know that she got us complementary tickets to Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend. Not only did we meet over an episode of Oprah’s Giveaway Show we just talked about embracing September as a month of new beginnings. The Weekend event was all about new beginnings. It fit in perfectly and I was thrilled that she thought of me while life was clearly providing more information for us to use to move us forward.

As I sit here I realize that I’ve been grumpy, tearful and anxious all week and because of it I have been focused on all the wrong things: what I do not have or have not accomplished. I guess we all can take a time out for a whiny break but I know I  just can’t get suck. I am ready to continue on the adventure that life has me on. Time to dust myself off and get back on the wagon. I don’t know where it will lead but I am making a promise to myself to put in the time to find out.

 

Inga O,

I thought you should know.

 

 

 

Between Front Page News and Tijuana Garage

 

It felt like a Sunday, as holiday Monday’s often do; fooling us into the familiar routine of preparing for another work week. As I sat across from the first friend I made after moving from the North. I couldn’t help but smile as the rain held back and we sat outside in the sunny warmth of the court yard between restaurants, Front Page News and Tijuana Garage. We chatted casually but with depth. Remembering why we were more than friends we were family- framily.  

 

We ordered lunch and eagerly split everything. Got two extra plates and made our own tapas; sandwiches cut exactly in half and one side order of fries and another of salad shared equally. We talked about relationships and lessons learned. Talked about who we wanted to be and what we wanted to experience. Life we both realized was about balance and making time for those things you enjoy doing like reading a great book or always wanted to do, like learn to play the guitar.

 

As we left the restaurant and prepared to walk around and experience the hidden gems of Atlanta we both understood the importance of spending time in the company of someone who gets you. Spending time with people who honor your you-ness while you honor theirs. Those friends, family or family members who allow you to be yourself yet encourage you to be your best possible version. As we walked and talked and laughed we recognized that we are that to each other and the smiles, nods and warm conversation of the people we met that day indicated that they recognized it too.

Inga O,

I thought you should know.

Atlanta’s Independent Music

Sometimes the best times are spontaneously derived. On Monday night after doing some work on branding for a client I got a call and was invited out to an independent music event. The exclusive gathering was hosted by a community coffee shop and I learned that it is an ultra-clandestine operation, often with attendees meeting in private homes or, as was the case this night, in businesses closed to the mainstream public for the night. The performance showcased Independent local bands with a variety of musical styles but all with the common goal of exposing those in attendance to Atlanta’s local talent. I was amongst other bloggers and photographers as well as friends of friends, ethnically diverse but all sharing a love of homegrown talent and supporting music that challenges the status quo. I cheered, swayed and rose to my feet enthralled in the beat and pitch and tempo presented before me. I could not help but feel a sense of pride in my city. Atlanta has so much to offer off the beaten path. The music came from the heart and you could hear it. A basket was passed reminiscence of a church collection plate. People dug deep and a boisterous brunette encouraged us all to “dig deeper” as the basket went around a second time and we did. How can you put a price on organic art that stimulates thought, moves your body and leaves you wanting more? All I can say is please support the musical risk takers. Those who want to extend the gift of their stories deserve a platform and an audience. Their messages connect us all. Their talent and passion is audible. You will not find them on mainstream radio. You will not be the same after the experience for we are all connected and every word uttered will speak to your soul if you let it. All that is needed is a keen desire and faith that we are more similar that different and you can be led spontaneously to find a good time.

Off the Beaten Path I found Lily and the Tigers and I am still humming “Beaumont” an earthy freedom folk song that you can listen to below. Please share your thoughts on the music with me. I’d love to read your reaction.

Inga O,

I thought you should know.

 

Summer Meme

Here’s my Sunday Stealing Summer Meme:

 

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we try to credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim’s meme. (It’s our way of saying “Thanks!”) Sometimes we edit the original meme, to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, to select the best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from this new meme or recently asked questions from a previously featured meme.

Let’s go!!!

 

From:

Quizopolis

 

Favorite summer flower:

Rose

Flavor of ice cream:

Jamoca Almond Fudge from Baskin Robbins

Mode of transportation:

Airplane

Music:

Reggae

Food:

Never met a vegetable I didn’t like

Favorite game to play:

Dominos, Caribbean Style

Earliest childhood summer memory:

The Candy Man: An older man living on the upper floor of the building I lived in at about age 6. The neighborhood children would yell up to his balcony “Candy Man. Candy Man” and he would throw down candy to us. I remember getting the caramel squares and them being my favorite.

Favorite Drink:

Water flavored with cucumber slices.

Favorite Snack:

Today it’s M&M’s and dry Kicks Cereal

Place to read:

On a porch with my feet up

Most annoying:

Negative People

How I handle the heat:

Get out of the kitchen

Pet Peeve:

Isms: racism; sexism, classism, ageism

All-time favorite bathing suit:

String Bikini

Best Time of Day:

Morning

Most romantic:

Rolling around laughing in bed

Summer movie:

I want to see The Hundred-Foot Journey

 

I thought you should know,

Inga O xox

Using Memes: A Fun Way to Connect with Others

Sundays are a great day to peruse blogs and websites without feeling like I should be limiting myself. With a warm cup of tea and a snack I Bing whatever comes to mind and roam the internet from there.  Like walking down an undiscovered path, I stumble upon literary gems and interesting tidbits that educate, intrigue and inspire me. Today’s round up:

♥ I found out about The Mahogany Way’s road trip to Carriage Hill Farms that got me thinking about traveling in general.

 

♥ Traveling in general got me thinking about my upcoming vacation to Vancouver BC and how I wish it was in April when Army & Navy has their Annual Sale where Jordana shared her $4.99 clearance bin score.

 

 

♥ I love to read through the Post Secrets and select my favorites. They are sometimes funny, shocking or sad but there are always ones that incite a stronger reaction from me than others. I like to think of them as a weekly art exhibit. I love art.

 

♥ In the education theme I learned about Memes. I’ve heard the term thrown around but didn’t really get a good grasp on it until The Daily Memes broke it down for me and got me playing along. The memes are listed by day of the week and I participated in That’s My Answer and Sunday Stealing. I particularly enjoyed reading Thank You, Great Spirit’s Meme. I learned about the power of memes and that is a fun way to connect with others online.

Inga O

 

Diversity Social Club Conseption

 

I have a lofty goal. I want to create a social group independent of Meet Up.

Sure the whole process would be way easier if I went with the Meet Up template and relied on their familiar name tag logo and slew of online groups to draw from. But I want to do it my way…well I want to do it our way but as I am the only member as I type I have to say my way for now. I have an idea that if I work to gather like-minded individuals who truly want to join a social group and not just be a transient Meet Up hopper, I have to put in the work the old fashioned way. Word of mouth; referrals and good events to keep us all engaged. I have been a Meet Up hopper. I know what it’s like to not really have to commit; not really feel a connection. It was fun but it wasn’t the long lasting bond I sought.  I say, “If you can’t find what you are looking for, create it.” They say, “If you build it they will come.” Both quotes with land the social club at the same place I hope.

So far the vision is that of a diverse group of people, all ethnicities and races welcomed; all sharing their uniqueness and flavorful view of the world. I grew up in Canada so true multiculturalism is a familiar (albeit sometimes elusive) goal. I’m picturing a social club with and international feel: a gathering that celebrates cultures through food, travel and time spent. A place where the members can learn about food preparation and using locally sourced, sustainable food stuff to achieve palatable bliss. Were we can try together and encourage each other and squeeze joy out of daily life. A place where those with a knowledge of “this” can teach it to us and those with a panache for “that” can showcase it too. Let’s network and buy local and frequent the Mom & Pop’s restaurants that are the cornerstone of the entrepreneurial spirit. Let’s hike, bike, or grab a mike! LOL

I am daring to dream and I am taking a risk in sharing it here with you all. I anticipate fear, frustration and lots of joy. I look to my online friends to help me. Guide me if you have pulled this off, or know someone who has. Point me in a direction. Give me your encouragement as I try in my own way to get people of varying races, ages and sexes coming together on a regular basis to learn, share and play.

 

Inga O,

I thought you should know.

 

CREDIT: In researching for the art for this post I found the American Diversity image associated with a District 158 Project by Mr. Nixon.

I also found the round table to be the cutest image that speaks to what I’d love to see the social club. I found it attached to a site about entrepreneurs and start ups by Steve Blank, how fitting.

Black Swan by Luis Castañeda

What does it take to be a Black Swan? What does it take to look around and be just different enough that you stand out? To not care that you are easily spotted in a sea of thousands? Or just different. You may be deemed more important/ugly/pretty/special/dangerous/smart than the rest. The adjectives could go on and on but does it matter? We have all experienced that one point or another, haven’t we? The preferential or ill treatment that is not based on merit, a wink and an extra something special or a conniving glance that dismisses. Does that treatment effect you enough to force you into submission, slow or fast? Who decided that all the crayons in the box were not as valuable? Or that they should all be packaged the same way? BORING I say! Some use GOD and the Bible as an excuse. What kind of GOD would declare that one life is worth more than another and if that is actually true then call me an Atheist because that is not the kind of GOD I’d want to associate with. Is it that easy to justify preferential treatment when you are on the receiving end? I don’t think so. Something pokes you internally. Something tells you inherently that it’s wrong but the more that that something is ignored; the easier it is to justify the act.  Luis Castañeda’s photograph entitled “Black Swan” stimulated these thoughts. Good art is thought provoking. Great art inspires change. It has done both for me. What about you? Please leave a comment and let me know.

Inga O xox